Yooowzers! It was an intense day of battling little Korean munchkins, saving the world, flying to Venus on a magic carpet , and then, then my proudest accomplishment of the day, I ate more food than for lunch than all five of my male teachers. I'm a beast! (I'm training for a food-eating competition in July). Don't worry Mom, I'm not really too large from all the extra food, yet.... uhh.... you see large is not really the proper terminology, I'm just a little plump, well-fed, well-rounded, maybe robust or possibly husky? ... I don't know English isn't my first language anymore, no, I've given up for a more appropriate global language. It's called "Asian Talk".. Have you not heard of it? Why it's all the rage here! Everyone speaks it! You guys are so behind the times! Get with it ....
You know they say ("they" meaning those smart people, who live in the smart people town, and make smart people money.... you know "them" right?) Well "They" say English will be obsolete in 5 years. So get on the stick, Move to Asia! Go, go, go! What are you waiting for?!? leave your life of stupidity and mostly English. Sell your house, buy a big towel (Tip:: uhhh..... So we only have hand towels here in Korealand, and what's more awkward than the combination of a shower + roommate or random neighbor + hand towel = red face.. or worse..... oommate IN hand towel + you eating breakfast = the involuntary loss of your breakfast.
After you buy the towel, give away your dog (there's no room here), and buy a box of chocolate, (why the chocolate?) Ummm... the chocolate is for me.... I could go into some long diatribe about how you won't be excepted into Asian culture unless you bring expensive, dark, delicious chocolate, or how there is a tax for chocolate-less visitors, or you'll turn into a pumpkin wear a dress unless there is a box of chocolate in your hand, but let's be honest, I'm selfish.. I want chocolate... So stop by Mr. Ghirardelli's, spend a month's salary, and I'll see you soon... Remember dark chocolate, none of that weenie milk chocolate stuff!
Oh yess.... back on track.... hmmm, where was I? oh yes, my intense day! Well after many a hardships, I went to the little market in my town... And the Ajumma's (grandmothers) were out in full force today, so I wandered through the food stalls with sad, hungry eyes hoping to get handouts. It worked like magic! ::I'm not going to lie...I'm a pro. I've got skill-Z:: Not only did I get free berries, the ajummas gave me free Korean lessons to boot! It was a sweet, sweet day in Asialand for sure....